Cat and Mouse
by ThrillerGirl05
Summary: After Marik and Ishizu get locked in their underground home Ishizu learns a good lesson: When Odion is away, Yami Marik will come out and Play! [Yami MarikIshizu but no actual incest scenes]
1. Im Baaaaack!

**Cat and Mouse By ThrillerGirl05**

This fic is rated T for language, possibilities of violence, and incest stuff, oh and sexual jokes.

Setting: Somewhere after Alcatraz Duel Tower, but before Pharaoh's Memories (Probably during Doma)

Disclaimer: I am not associated with YGO at all.

**OKAY LISTEN UP RIGHT NOW: There is slight incest things in here. NO (censored) scenes in here, do not worry. Maybe a kiss and a hug or touching every now and then, but Isizu is JUST as disturbed as all of you are. I WILL NOT MAKE IT OVERWHELMINGLY INCEST, but it's just for fun. I mean imagine all the fun you could have with Yami Marik and Isizu as a couple? And it's for comedy, folks. It's not serious. And I don't even consider Yami Marik RELATED to Isizu, but many others do. Just don't worry; I'll give you all a heads up before each chapter if it contains any incest things. Okay? Just have fun and chuckle every now and then folks, it's what I'm writing this for!**

"So, Odion how long are you going to be gone?" Isizu asked.

"Oh, just a week," Odion replied.

"An entire week?" Marik said, "You're just going to Cairo!"

"Yes, yes, I know. But the museum workers would like to interview me and show me around. Remember, they want to interview an Egyptian born man to tell them about my life."

"Remember, though," Isizu said, "Don't say too much about the entire Battle City incident, okay?"

"Right, of course Sister," Odion said. He lifted a suitcase next to his legs, and started for the door.

"Good luck, Brother!" Marik called.

"Thank you, I'll be back no more than a week!"

And with that Odion pushed open the door, and clambered out. Then he quickly shut it with a large BANG.

Marik looked at his sister awkwardly.

"So…what do we do now?" Marik said, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure…" Isizu said, "Maybe we should just…talk."

"About what?"

"I don't know…" Isizu said.

"Uh…" They stared at each other.

"Right." Both of them walked in separate directions, towards their own chambers.

"Wait, Isizu," Marik said, turning around.

"Yes, Marik?" Isizu said with an annoyed tone.

"The Pharaoh gave us our Millennium Items back, right?"

Isizu sweat dropped. "Yes, I received my Necklace again."

"Uh, did you get the Rod back?"

"...I think. Uh..." Marik noticed she wasn't wearing her Necklace.

"Where did you put them?" he said with a suspicious tone.

"I have the Necklace in my pocket," she glared.

Marik rolled his eyes. "WHY?"

"Well...I don't know," Isizu said.

"Where's the Rod? I want my Rod back!"

"Your...Your _Rod_?" She said.

Marik realized how wrong he had just sounded. He smacked his forehead, "The _Millennium_ Rod! What did you _think_ I meant?"

"Well, never mind, Brother," Isizu said. "It's...somewhere."

"Where?" Marik snapped, "COME ON! I KNOW YOU HAVE IT! IF...WHEN I FIND IT...I'LL...I'LL..."

"Stab me with the dagger?" She said with sarcasm.

"Shhh..." Marik said, "Americans don't know about the dagger! It isn't child friendly!"

"Well...you'll trap me in the Shadow Realm," Isizu said with even more sarcasm.

"...Okay just tell me where my MILLENNIUM Rod is!" Marik said.

"I don't know Marik, it's somewhere in the tomb. Maybe it's in the prayer chamber or something!" Isizu said, clearly annoyed.  
"Fine, fine," Marik threw his hands up in the air and walked away.

"What. A. Loser." Isizu rolled her eyes.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

_(several hours later)_

"ISIZU!" Marik yelled.

"What...Marik?" Isizu said, anger twitching her eyes, clenching her fists, and grinding her teeth.

"I can't find it."

"I...DON'T...CAA-"

A phone started to ring. Ever since Marik and Isizu had moved on from their past and the Pharaoh had returned, they were able to not live within Tomb Keeper boundaries. They could use electronic devices. Isizu quickly scooped up the phone.

"HELLO?" she quickly said into the mouth of the phone.

"Hey, Sister!"

"Oh, hi Odion!" She quickly sweat dropped.

"Who is it?" Marik asked.

"Who do you think?" She called, her hand covering the mouth of the phone.

"Oh, are you and Marik getting along well?" Odion's voice said.

"Uh, of course. Everything's fine here."

"Well, that's all I was just calling for. I made it to Giza, and I'm going to be here for several days, according to the head of the museum. I'll call every now and then, just to make sure you're all okay."

"All right, thank you Odion."

"You are welcome, Sister. Goodbye!"

"Bye!" She hung up the phone and rolled her eyes. "When my brother is finally not a psychotic Rare Card Hunter, or imprisoned by a psychotic yami, he's a pain in my bottom. I guess that's what little brothers ARE for..."

"HEY!" Marik called, running into the room. "I FOOOOOUND IT!" He sang, holding out the golden, shiny staff.

"Good for you," Isizu nodded.

"Hahaha!" Marik laughed, swinging it around. "I love my Rod…"

"Again, with the _rod_!" Isizu said.

Marik rolled his eyes, "The MILLENNIUM Rod. Yeesh…"

"That's better. I just wanted to make sure," Isizu grinned.

"That's disgusting," Marik turned but stopped. "Uh, who's cooking dinner tonight?"

"Well Odion of course-" She stopped and sweat dropped, "And he's not here today…"

"Well you better get started then…" Marik smirked.

"Uh, no way, Brother," Isizu said.

"Well you're the woman, you cook for the man."

"**EXCUSE ME?"** She shouted.

"Oh I should not have said that…"

"ALL BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN DOESN'T…"

'Gee, she sounds mad,' Marik thought. 'I just won't listen. Who cares? Half the times it's about predicting the stupid future…' Marik thought as he could of swore he heard Isizu yelling "BLA BLA BLABLABALA DRIBBLE DRIBBLE DRIBBLE!"

"You're the youngest, so you most help the elderly," Isizu said.

"Oh please, elder," Marik rolled his eyes, "You're freaking 20 years old for crying out loud!"

"…Well the people with the most tattoos must cook. It's a rule."

"No it isn't- Hey wait a sec, all because I had to have the Pharaoh's Secret BURNED onto my back does not mean I have to cook dinner!"

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"AHA! SO YOU ADMIT YOU SHOULD COOK DINNER BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE MOST TATTOOS!"

"No wait," Marik shook his hands.

"Go get started!" Isizu laughed triumphantly.

"And everyone thinks we're happy little brothers and sister…yeah right…if we were ever trapped down here, I would, I would," His eyes widened, the iris shrinking, and his hair starting to stand up, "I would kill…" he stopped and his eyes turned to normal and his hair too, "I…I'll go cook…"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After dinner, and another small older sibling-younger sibling argument, Marik had headed to his chamber. Isizu had felt somewhat bad because of the arguments, feeling she should have handled herself better. She eventually decided to go apologize.

She eventually came to Marik's chamber, and took a breath. She knocked on the door. "Marik, it's Isizu. Look, Brother, I am sorry for the arguments we've had. Why don't you come out and I cook us a dessert?"

No response for about five minutes, and Isizu started to get worried. It was too early for him to be asleep.

"Marik, look, please come out Brother. I'm not mad, please don't be mad at me."

No response for another five minutes.

"Brother, if you do not come out I will come in!"

No response.

"Fine, let's do it this way," She sighed, and pushed open the door.

Yami Marik was the only thing she saw in the room, and he was right in front of her, grinning like a maniac.

Isizu's eyes twitched in shock, a dumbfounded, frightful look on her face. She quickly slammed the door shut and leaned against it.

**"I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaack!"** a voice roared from inside.

TBC


	2. Trapped? TOGETHER?

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. But I do own this egg roll...yummy.

"Oh. My. Ra," Isizu said, leaning against the door. "Why?" she looked up to the ceiling, "Why do you hate me so damn much?"

"Because, you're a girl," the ceiling responded back.

"...Okay...now the ceiling is talking..." Isizu said, now sort of weirded out. "HEY!" She finally realized, "All because I'm a girl..." she stopped, "Now I'm arguing with the ceiling..."

But she heard that familiar husky chuckle in her ear, through the door, which made her scream slightly.

"Isiiiiizu!" Yami Marik said through the door, "I just want to come out and play!"

"Back off, bitch!" Isizu said, spreading her arms and locking harder against the door.

"...Bitch?" Yami Marik hung his head and laughed.

Isizu heard his laughing, and turned and ran, sprinting down the hallway, into the kitchen.

Yami Marik eventually stopped laughing. "Now, now, Isizu just open the door," he said. He didn't lean on the door, turn the knob, or even touch it, thinking it was useless since Isizu was resisting.

Isizu looked around helplessly. Something to defend herself...something to defend herself...She openned a pantry and started grabbing all the pots and pans. She put a pot on her head, and grabbed a large wooden spoon. Those were the only things not covered in gross, slimy food from previous nights. She quickly stood in front of the door, waiting for Yami Marik to come out.

Yami Marik knocked on the door. "Oh come on Isizu, just let me out," he rolled his eyes, and leaned on the door. "I mean, really," suddenly the door shot open, and he flipped backwards, hitting his head on the floor. He groaned and looked up, seeing Isizu's fearful eyes peering at him from above. He lowly chuckled and sat up, turning to Isizu.

"Miss me Isizu?" he asked.

Isizu's hands were shaking, but she said in the most fake-courageous voice, "N-no..."

"R-R-Really?" he mocked, starting to stand up, the Millennium Rod in his pant's belt loop.

Isizu swallowed._ 'Okay Isizu,' _she thought, _'just be fearless. If the Pharaoh defeated him, so can you. Just show no fear, you can take him!'_

'_But he has the Millennium Rod!' _She said to the other voice in her mind.

'_Oh...you're on your own then..._' the voice said.

'_But...but...' _Isizu said.

'_I have a plan...'_

'_And that would be?'_

'_(whisper, whisper, whisper)'_

'_Okay!'_

Isizu turned and faced Yami Marik, a courageous yet cocky look on her face. She felt a smirk form on her lips.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" she screamed, running down the hallway, waving her arms and dropping the spoon. Yami Marik just stared, sweat dropping. Then he laughed, shaking his head and started strolling down the hall. "BAD DAY BAD DAY BAD DAY!" Isizu yelled, turning the corner, leaving a huge trail of dust and smoke behind her. Yami Marik slowly and calmly turned the corner, humming as he followed Isizu.

Isizu ran past the front door.

Wait...

ISIZU! COME BACK! GO THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR!

"That's a good idea!" Isizu skidded to a halt, and turned and ran to the front door.She tried to push it open, but it wouldn't budge. "Are you _searious?_" She said.

"Yeah!" The ceiling said.

"I wasn't talking to _you_!"

Then she noticed a note tape on the wall, next to the iron door.

_Dear Brother and sister,  
__There are enough supplies and such to last you until I come back. There is no point to leave the tomb, and I don't want to see you two get into any trouble, so I sealed the door. Only I know where the emergency open-the-door lever is, so you won't be going anywhere. I greatly appreciate your cooperation.  
__Odion_

"...ODIIIIOOOOOOON!" Isizu yelled, about to explode. "Oh wait..." she calmed down, noticing a large lever next to the door that said "Emergency open-the-door lever" on the template. Isizu sweat dropped, trying to resist not laughing. But she stopped when she heard Yami Marik's own approaching laughter.

Isizu held in her screams of terror as she grabbed the lever. The lever was very, very, VERY delicate. The slightest mis-pull and it would...

Yami Marik laughed, "I'M GONNA GET YOU!" He roared.

Isizu gripped tightened intensely as he yelled that as she pulled. The lever snapped right off.

_It would break._

Isizu stared at the broken template of the lever, whimpering slightly. Then she slowly lifted her head, looking at the broken metal bar in her shaking hand. She stared for about a minute, when two warm hands grabbed her shoulders, causing her to shriek and throw the bar to the ground. She turned around, seeing Yami Marik's sneer in her face. She shrunk back in fear, quivering and whimpering slightly louder.

"Well Isizu," Yami Marik said to her, "It looks like we're stuck down here. Together."

"Together."

"Together."

"Together."

"Will you stop saying together over and over again?" Isizu said to him.

"But face it, we're stuck down here. Together."

"..." Isizu stared at him.

She fell to her knees, flailing her arms up in the air, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Yami Marik just laughed, then bent down over her shoulder and whispered, "Don't worry. Your brother will protect you."

"YOU AREN'T MY BROTHER!" She screamed at him, exploding on the inside, wanting to lunge at the human embodiment of all her hate; to her he was the reincarnation of the Wicked God Zork Necrophidius. ...the descendant of the God Set.

"You're right," Yami Marik said. "Technically that oh so lovely brother of yours, Marik, is my father, since I was born from his hatred, a part of him. That means..._you're my aunt_."

Isizu stared at the ground for a couple of minutes, and suddenly she lunged forward, her cheeks puffing outwards as if she was about to vomit.

Yami Marik sniggered at the sight, but was happy that she really didn't vomit.

"Well I always knows what makes someone feel better after almost throwing up," Yami Marik said. "A nice kiss on the cheek."

Isizu felt pair of lips press against her cheek, saliva on them getting onto her skin. She felt herself pail, and the only thing on her mind was that her worst enemy and FEAR was kissing her. But suddenly instead of feeling lips, she felt a tongue lick up her face.

She snapped, finally attempting to push Yami Marik away, but he had put his arm around her.

"GET OFF ME!" She finally yelled, pushing him off her with all of his might. He moved about...three inches? Yami Marik chuckled as his 'aunt' stood up, and started to run. But he quickly reacted and grabbed the bottom of her gown; his ruff fingers tore through is as he stood up, and Isizu sprinted down the hall, to her own chamber.

"Come back here, Isizu," He said, "You'll never get away from me..." he pulled the Millennium Rod from out of his belt loop, a golden ghostly aura forming around it. He swung the rod forward. Nothing happened. "What the?" Yami Marik said, looking at the Rod. He swung it again. Nothing happened. He tried two more times. "What is wrong with my Millennium Rod?" he said. He looked at the bottom of the Rod. It read "Batteries dead". "OH COME ON!" Yami Marik yelled. "THOSE BATTERIES LAST A THOUSAND YEARS, AND NOW, OF ALL TIMES, THEY DIE ON ME? Ugggh...I hope Isizu has double As..."

Isizu meanwhile ran into her chamber, sobbing and locking the door. She through a chair and a table in front of the door, and hopped in the corner and grabbed her head. She had to stay strong...she had to...

"No...Marik come back..."

TBC


	3. Batteries

**DISCLAIMER: According to my mom I A. Won't amount to anything but a sports-playing-girl and B. Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!**

"Oh come on, double As…double As…" Yami Marik said as he dug through the drawers and pantries of the kitchen. He needed batteries for the Millennium Rod to work. He was having a large amount of difficulty finding them…"Come on!" Marik sneered, "I know she's a Tomb Keeper and they aren't major on electronics and modernization but what moron doesn't keep an extra pack of double A batteries lying around?"

He cursed under his breath as he ripped open the drawer 2nd from the bottom. In it was a bunch of junk laying around, including a picture frame that was upside-down. He curiously grabbed it, and flipped it over. "I cannot believe it…" he said. It was a large heart-shaped frame and in the center of it was a picture of Seto Kaiba without his large trench coat. He was just in his tight pants and tight black shirt. On the bottom were the words "My secret valentine."

Yami Marik's eye twitched slightly. "…I KNEW they liked each other…" He continued to search, and stumbled upon another picture frame. It was heart-shaped also. "Gee, who else does Isizu crush on?" he said as he sweat-dropped. He turned it over. It was a picture of Marik, his lighter side, and the Pharaoh hugging each other. On the bottom read "Marik X The Pharaoh FOREVER".

"…" He shook his head. "I'm going to forget I ever saw that…" He gripped the frame and felt something wedged into the frame. It was a sheet of lined paper. He felt for it, and pulled it out from the frame, examining it. "I really, really shouldn't…" he said. But then he noticed the front of the folded paper read"To Malik (I'm in a Japanese Uncut mood today)". Yami Marik quickly unfolded the sheet of paper, curious to seeing why Bakura would write him a letter even though everyone thought him to be gone.

"Hmm...Dear Malik, I know you may never receive this letter but if you do I can tell you pulled off some crazy shit to get out of the Shadow Realm. But I just wanted to know: I...love you? Even though you entrapped me in the Shadow Realm, a part of my heart still beat with a passion for you. I must also thank you for trapping that hot blonde girl Mai in the Shadow Realm. Even though my heart still yearns for you, we sure had a LOT of fun messing around in the hourglass that---Oh I can't read anymore of this!" Disgusted, he tore up the letter and threw them all over the place, grabbing his head and shaking it.

After overcoming the shock he was put in from the letter, he came across one last drawer, and impatiently ripped it straight out of the drawer holder. Holding it in his hands…his eyes lit up with joy and greed. IT WAS ONLY FULL OF BATTERIES!

"YES!" Yami Marik yelled, raising a fist in juvelation. There were tons among tons of packs. He stuck his tan hand in, digging through the piles. "As…Triple As…Quadruple As…Fithimple As…Siximple As…Sentumple As…Octo As…Nana As…DECA As?…INFINITY As? WHERE THE HELL IS THE DOUBLE As?" He came across one last packet. "Double…YES!" He cheered, "DOUBLE! DOUBLE! I FINALLY FOUND DOUB---" he stopped. "D-D-Double…Bs? DOUBLE Bs?" He yelled in pure rage.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

"What is taking him so long?" Isizu whispered.

We really don't know, Isizu.

"Oh, it's you again. The person who tried to help me escape this place. AND you tried to steal our ice cream!"

Shhh…let's forget about the past…Folks I really don't know what she's talking about, ME stealing THEIR ice cream…

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hey, whom are you talking to?"

I'm talking to all the lovely people devoting their time to reading and REVIEWING this story. You see the people sitting in front of the computers?

"Oooooh!" Isizu nodded. "Do they know that you stole some of our ice cream?"

I didn't! I sweat it must have been Bakura or something; I mean he was a Egypt-known 5,000 year old thief! He was the king of thieves 5,000 years ago…

"Shhh! You're ruining the Pharaoh's Memories saga! The Americans and other non-Japanese folks don't know that he was a thief!"

I'll ruin all I want to.

"Wait…I hear footsteps…"

Oh, I guess Marik's coming back. I guess I've got to go back to storytelling.

"Uh…okay…" Isizu said. But suddenly alarmed by the footsteps, she stood up defensively, knowing whom the source of the footsteps was. Isizu made sure the door was locked and hurried to the back of the room, shaking in slight fear.

"Ugh, I can't believe I had to stuff the Millennium Rod with like…twenty of those quadruple As…" she heard Yami Marik's voice from outside the room.

"Quadruple As?" she said in confusion, raising an eyebrow. But her confusion was interrupted with a slam on the door. Startled, a small cry escaped her lips.

"Let me IN Isizu!" Yami Marik shouted through the door.

"NO WAY JOSE!"

"…what a dork…" There was another slam. Another. Another. Okay, instead of saying 'Another' over and over again, let's just say he slammed the door…A LOT! But finally one of the golden sides on the tip on the Millennium Rod tore through the wood of the door (don't ask me why he didn't do some freaky Egyptian voodoo to blast through the door). Isizu screamed slightly, backing up against the wall. He continued to tear at the hole, and he stuck his face to the hole. "HEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY---I mean---MARIK!" he roared with laughter. He reached into the hole, and unlocked the door from the inside.

And when he stepped inside, he came face to face with YAMI ISIZU! She proceeded in using the Millennium Necklace's power to OUTRIGHT KICK HIS ASS!

…Just kidding.

Instead, Isizu freaked out even MORE, putting more pressure against the wall as Yami Marik laughed and approached his prey.

"How…how did you…come back?" Isizu said.

"Oh, fine I'll explain. You see, remember how I controlled your pitiful brother's shell during the Battle City tournament?"

"Yes," she answered bitterly.

"Well he managed to control little Tea's mind even without the Millennium Rod because he puts part of himself into Tea. Well I am a part of Marik, and he put part of me into Tea's mind also. I managed to survive in her mind…and frankly it's more of a living Hell in there than the Shadow Realm. I mean, everywhere you looked there were bunnies, flowers, happy faces and children giggling. IT RAINED GUMDROPS AND LEMONDROPS. I mean, she watches way too much 'Barney'! But once I stumbled upon the scariest part of her mind. It was a large building, and I decided to go exploring in it. Inside…inside…was…tons and tons of pictures…of the Pharaoh in boxers…with an eight pack….my eyes didn't stop burning for ages…But luckily Marik lost his temper with you when Odion wasn't there so…I COULD COME BACK! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Isizu walked up to him. "Oh…right…very, very interesting. I have one thing to say to that…"

"And what is it?" he asked.

"THIS!" Isizu yelled as she kicked him right in the balls.

"Oh…oh…" Yami Marik moaned as he grabbed his crotch, falling to his knees.

"And stay down!" Isizu yelled as she walked past him.

"I…can't…breath…" he coughed, and everything went black as he fell unconcious.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Yami Marik's dreamscape…**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"GET HIM!" A girlish voice yelled as the source pointed at the fleeing Yami Marik.

Tea and Serenity and Isizu giggled, as they chased him, lead by Mai's command. No matter how fast Yami Marik ran, they easily kept up, and eventually caught him, tackling him and holding him down. "No! Let me go! Let me go!"

"Now it's your turn…" Mai turned to a dark figure behind her.

"It would be my pleasure."

The figure stepped out; it was Yami Bakura. He sauntered over to Yami Marik with a seductive look on his face.

"NO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT **THAT**!" Yami Marik screamed as Yami Bakura grabbed his shirt.

**RIP.**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

TBC


	4. Oh NO She Did Not

'_Place to hide…place to hide…place to hide…' _Ishizu panted in her mind as she sprinted through the hallway. She had known from a past nightmare that Yami Marik had balls of steel so he'd be back up soon. Besides, her toe throbbed from kicking it so she just KNEW it was true. '_Strange…Marik cries whenever I kick him in his balls…he just…fell unconscious. OH DUH! He doesn't have BALLS OF STEAL…he has BALLS OF GLASS! He fell UNCONSCIOUS after I BECKONNED him…I have plenty of time…'_

She slowed to a walk, turning around the hallway, and entering the kitchen area. She strolled past the phone. Wait, the phone. Ishizu!

"WHAT DO YOU WANT MYSTERIOUS VOICE? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" she snapped.

Well I'm uh, ThrillerGirl05, I live in New Jersey and I play soccer, softball, field hockey, and snowboarding. I have a living playing sports, telling stories, watching Yu-Gi-Oh! And other animes and reading stories. I'm the Goalie for the B.O.M. Thunder!

"I don't care."

Well I have a tip.

"Go away, your so fricken annoying you SNATCH!"

(Gasp) Why I never! But I'm going to help you anyways you little obnoxious BITCH!

"Well go to hell you JAP!"

Pig-fucker!

"Cow-Fucker!"

I don't care about cows!

"Well then you'll never be a Hindu!"

…I'm going to be the bigger person and end this, and I'm going to help you. Why the hell don't you think and use the PHONE TO CALL ODION?

"That's a good idea!"

I know! Now what do you say?

"…Sorry ThrillerGirl05…"

Now that's better. (cough) Ishizu then picked up the phone and grabbed the cordless phone. She started to flip through the pages.

"Ugh the pages are stuck together! Marik must be pleasuring---" she stopped, shaking her head. "Papyrus museum of Egyptology of Giza…here we go!" she grabbed the phone and dialed in the number.

The phone buzzed slightly and the phone picked up.

"Hey, Odion?"

"_¿Hola, esto es Rishid, quién es esto?"_

"Odion? It's Ishizu, you know, Egypt, Tomb Keeper, Pharaoh's secret, your sister?"

_"¿Ishizu¿Egipto¡Ayeeeeeee¿Pienso que usted tiene el número de teléfono equivocado. ..but cómo puede yo le ayudo?"_

"Wait wait wait…who is this?"

_"Esto es Pepe, esto es Paparo, México. ¿Por qué llama usted?"_

"MEXICO? Okay, maybe you can help me. I'm trapped in my home with this freak named Yami Marik, or Marik, or Malik, or Yami no Malik, or Yami Malik, or whatever. He's going to torture me and wants to make out with me. Can you help me?"

"_¿Atrapado¡AYEEEEEEE¡Bien oí que usted quiere pinatas tan quizás usted puede venir a Paparo, México y romper algún pinatas abre conmigo y mis amigos!"_

"Pinatas? I don't like Pinatas!" Ishizu yelled impatiently, "Where did you here that I liked pinatas?"

"_¡Las piernas bien Locas dijeron Tanya, y Tany dijo Marcus, y Marcus dijo Galdino, y Galdino dijo Juan, y Juan dijo Lupay, y Lupay dijo Lorena, y Lorena dijo George, y George dijo Pablo, y Pablo me dijo TAN USTED SABE ES UN HECHO!"_

"Okay, okay sorry, sorry…" Ishizu said. "But I just need help!"

"_No preocupe. ¿Usted está seguro que usted no quiere bajarse¡Poseo un buisness de pelo, yo puedo hacer el pelo para libre¿Podemos tener nosotros los tacos y burittos. ..and nosotros podemos hacer el cha de cha. ..are usted seguro usted hace no wnat para bajarse Ishizu?"_

"No, no, no! I know that whatever, Mexico is far away but I need you to come with like…a sledgehammer or something and help me!"

"_Bien usted suena muy, muy caliente y atractiva. Así que adivino que vendré y ayudaré. Llamaré mi familia ENTERA, los 254.690. ¡Estaré allí pronto, cuelga apenas en la cosa dulce¡Adiós!"_

The connection was cut short, and Ishizu, wide-eyed, stared at the buzzing ear piece of the phone. "…DAMMIT!" she slammed it, hanging it up.

"Oh Ishiiiiizu…"

"Double Dammit…" she cried as she felt two arms lock around her waist, her eyes widening. She screamed, flailing slightly.

"Thanks to you I had a rather unpleasant dream…" he hissed into her ear. "Perhaps you should pay for that…"

"Yeah? Well even if you use the Rod I can negate it with my…my…" she looked down at her chest, there was NO Millennium Necklace hanging there. "My Necklace? IT'S GONE! OH SHIT I LOST THE MILLENNIUM NECKLACE!"

"You…you _lost _the Millennium Necklace?" Yami Marik said, his grip loosening. Ishizu shot forward and turned around, backing up.

She held out her hands, "STAY. AWAY. MARIK."

"Why should I? Maybe a little kiss will make me forget about my dream," he chuckled huskily.

Ishizu felt herself gag, but then retaliated. "Wait, wait, wait, you can't kiss ME!"

"And why not?" he said smoothly.

"Because there are so many pairings with you and some other girl that people probably want to see you kiss up to someone else."

"Prove it," he rebounded.

Ishizu looked from him, to the Millennium Rod, to the kitchen countertop. On top of the counter was a sheet of paper that said "Pairings: by Marik Ishtar." She quickly grabbed it and scanned for Yami Marik's name.

"Okay well first off…You and Serenity are 'SpacesShipping'."

"Me and JOEY WHEELER'S SISTER?" he roared.

"You and Mai would be 'IllusionShipping'."

"Already been there," he smirked.

Ishizu felt her eye twitch at the thought of Yami Marik and Mai together, but then again, Mai probably didn't have a choice. "Uh, uh, you and Joey Wheeler are 'FadeShipping'. And you and the Pharaoh are 'ClashShipping'. You and Yugi Moto are 'CrossShipping' and you and Kaiba are 'DangerShipping'…"

"I thought _you _liked him!" Yami Marik said, referring to the heart-shaped picture holder.

"DO NOT!" she cried quickly, and before he could reply she continued, "You and Ryou Bakura are 'DeathShipping', you and Shadi are 'ExecuteShipping', you and Odion are 'NegateShipping'…Why are you paired up with more guys then girls? Are you gay?"

"WHAT?" he roared, "NO! I AM NOT GAY! SURE MY WEAKER SELF IS A GAY EGYPTIAN THAT WEARS LILAC TOPS AND EYE MAKEUP AND EARINGS BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME GAY!"

"…You wear earings also…"

"SILENCE! Now continue…"

"And the last one…you…and…me…FearShipping…"

"Oh really?" he approached her, and she whimpered and backed up against the countertop. He grabbed her shoulders and looked into her delicate, fearful blue eyes. She stared into his cold, light purple, pupil-less eyes. His arms slipped around her neck, and he leaned in to kiss her. Ishizu don't know what came over her…but she put her arms around his waist and leaned in and _returned the kiss…_

'_HOLY SHIT WHAT AM I DOING?' _exploded in her mind. _'AH! AAAAH! MENTO! MENTO! I NEED A TIC TAC OR A MENTO OR **SOMETHING**!'_

She quickly pushed his rough body off her, a pleased smirk on his face as she dashed into the bathroom. She grabbed tooth paste, a tooth brush, and glass of water, not to mention about a foot of tooth floss, and SHOVED them all in her floor. '_WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? THAT'S YOUR BROTHER YOU INCEST FREAK!'_

_  
'No…he isn't my brother…he isn't…I won't accept that…'_

"Oh Ishizu…" a sing-song voice echoed. Ishizu turned towards the door and saw Yami Marik smirking and leaning on the wall. "Odion never told you about your brother, did he?"

"Yes! He told me you were born from the darkness of his heart!"

"No, well, yes. But, no, Ishizu, I AM YOUR BROTHER!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ishizu dropped to her knees, toothpaste and dental floss flying everywhere.

"Nah I'm just kidding I'm someone different…" he said.

Ishizu opened her eyes, "Oh, good. That's a REAL relief…"

"Yeah but I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to repay you for smashing my balls in."

"By doing what?"

"THIS!" he swung the Millennium Rod and Ishizu dropped to the floor.

Oh my Ra, Marik all the American people think that sending to the Shadow Realm has become BORING!

"No, I didn't, but if you have a problem I'll send YOU to the Shadow Realm."

"Uh…I'll pass. But, uh, what'd you do?"

"Oh-ho-ho she's going to have one, TERRIBLE, nightmare…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Okay you can stop now.

"Oh shut up!"

TBC


	5. Strip Tease

_Disclaimer: I am not associated with YGO at all, but I DO love FEARSHIPPING!_

_"So no one told you life was gonna be this way."  
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP  
"Your job's a joke, your broke, your love life's D.O.A.!  
It's like your always stuck in 2nd gear!  
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year  
BUT  
I'll be there for you!  
When the rain starts to poor  
I'll be there for you!  
Like I've been there before  
I'll be there for you!  
Cause you're there for me tooooo…"_

"What?" Ishizu slowly opened her eyes. Strange…she was in jeans and a nice black long sleeved shirt that cut at where her elbows bend. Her hair was straight down with no foreign Egyptian jewelry, that she had inherited from Priestess Isis herself, to be found in her whole outfit. She was sitting on a nice comfy couch, with a cup of hazelnut coffee in her hands. She blinked. "Where…am I?"

A familiar voice filled the air, "How you doin'?"

Ishizu's eyes widened as she realized the voice was aimed at her, and slowly (and quite reluctantly turned around) seeing Joey Wheeler grinning and nodding at her.

"Uh…I'm doing okay…" Ishizu blinked.

Joey's eyebrows ruffled.

"No, seriously…" he cleared his voice. "How you doin'?"

"…What? Joseph Wheeler? Joey? It's me, Ishizu. Why are you…?"

"So, we're down for 10:00 at my place?"

Ishizu's eyes widened further. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well…" he grinned, "We're, let's just say we'll have some acting lessons…"

Ishizu grimaced, realizing how WRONG he meant that comment.

"No, I will not have sex with you!" She said.

"Oh, come on," he leaned in, and his voice abruptly changed.

_"You know you want to__…"_ and she felt a wet tongue slide up her face. She screamed suddenly, and felt her environment literally disappear. Music started up again.

_"Meeting you, with a view to a kill__…  
Face to faces, secret places, feel the chill  
Nightfall, covers me  
But you know the plans I'm making  
Still, oversee  
Could it be, the whole earth openning wide?  
A sacred why, of mystery gaping inside  
The week is why_

Until we dance, into the fire  
That fatal kiss, is all we need  
Dance! Into the fire!  
To the fatal sounds of broken dreams!  
Dance into the fire!  
That fatal kiss, is all we need  
Dance, into the fire…

The choice of you, is a view to a kill  
Between the shades, assisinations, standing still  
First of crystal tears, fall as snow flakes on your body  
First time in years, to drench your skin in lover's rosy stain  
A chance to find the phoenix for the flame  
A chance to die,

But we can dance, into the fire  
That fatal kiss, is all we need  
Dance, into the fire!  
To fatal sounds of broken dreams!  
Dance into the fire!  
That fatal kiss is all we need!  
Dance! Into the fire!  
When all we see,  
Is the view to a kill!"

Ishizu now felt a sensation under her, the same you feel when your on a fast moving train cruising down rugged terrain. "Now where am I?"

She realized she was in only a bathrobe, and blushing, she scuttled to her compartment's closet.

And as she opened it, a large tall figure jumped out. It was Maximillion Pegasus…with iron teeth?

Ishizu screamed in shock as Pegasus grabbed her bathrobe and pushed her against the door, crying out as she slammed hard against the rosewood. She used her kick-yo-ass-judo-chop skills to push him off her, and tried to resist, but he quickly grabbed her and forced her to her bed, opening his metal-teeth container of a mouth, leaning in to bite her.  
When suddenly the bathroom door burst open. A figure raced in, smashing a bottle of wine over Pegasus, and proceeded to outright-kick-his-ass and kicked him out the door.  
Ishizu panted, her adrenaline rushing from the surprise attack. She blinked, "Who…are you?" she said to the figure hidden in the shadows, her rescuer.

"Moto, Yugi Moto…" the figure said, stepping out. He was in a black tux, his hair spiked extra well.

"Yugi?" she said as her jaw dropped.

"Yes, agent double-o seven, to some," he winked. "Did Jaws' attack scare away your memory temporarily?"

"What? Jaws?" Ishizu said, a shark, next to a question mark, appeared in a thought bubble above her head.

"The lilac haired prissy boy with extreme orthodontic attention…" Yugi said smugly.

"Oh, Pegasus, yeah, uh, what am I doing here?"

Yugi started to approach her, she noticed he was strangely her height.

"You know what? Agent Ishizu, top Russian secret agent?" He gripped her chin, and his voice suddenly changed.

"_You belong to me.._."

Another scream and Ishizu's surroundings quickly changed.

And there was no music this time, she just found herself sitting in a club, in front of a walk-out modeling stage. The club walls were purple and on the wall was a large neon sign that said "Club Eklipse". She looked to her right to see many familiar faces: Yugi, Joey, Duke, Tristan, even several other smaller duelists like Weevil and Rex. They were all chanting with happy looks.

"KAIBA! KAIBA! KAIBA! KAIBA!"

And it was then that Roland walked onto the stage, people errupting with applause. "And now, gentlemen and gentlemen, without further ado, we present Kaiba's latest routine: "Triple W!"

The crowd went insane as "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" by Jessica Simpson started playing. Ishizu blinked in confusion when Kaiba suddenly emerged from behind the curtain, wearing all tight black clothes (as usual) and, strangely, a ten gallon hat. Ishizu's brow ruffled in confusion.

Kaiba danced around the stage, lip singing to the blonde's feminine voice. And suddenly, after the line "One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you..." Kaiba gripped the center of his shirt, and ripped it open. Ishizu's eyes widenned so much that her eyes started to hurt.

He continued to prounce around, all the boys in the club howling and waving 20 dollar bills. Ishizu thought she was going to be sick.

"It's...a gay...strip club!" She said in terror.

Again Kaiba lip-sang "One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you..." and lifted the bottom of his pant leg revealing a girl cowboy boot.

Ishizu started screaming, "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! SOMEBODY WAKE ME UP!"

"_Sure..."_ and she felt a body embrace around her as she screamed.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Ishizu bolted up from the floor of the bathroom. She was panting and sweating, "Thank Ra, it was only a nightmare!"

And it was then she heard a deep, husky chuckle. She looked up, recognizing the voice she heard so many times in her nightmares: it was Yami Marik's. She looked up, quite angrily at the sight of the demon. He was leanning on the closed bathroom door. He was smirking and his arms were crossed. "So you're finally awake?"

"And don't you sound glad?" she countered, trying to hide her fear as best as she could.

"Well, you looked rattled," he sounded surprisingly careing, "And to make you feel better..."

Ishizu blinked.

"I won't let you leave this room until _YOU_ kiss me."

TBC

OOOOOOOOOOOO  
What happens to Ishizu is actually based off of an expierience I had at a Wildwood soccer tournamentlast year, whenI was 12...(grins) and YES, I'm not stupid. I DO know that the James Bond song was from "A View to a Kill" but the scene was from "The Spy who Loved Me", so don't bug me about it, lol.


End file.
